I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is the high leading the old right now
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
