sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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