She's JV to your varsity
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
being pregnant is like rehab
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
