Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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