you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
