im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's rum buckets o'clock
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
