Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
