Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
