"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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