ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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