Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
