if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
