i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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