Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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