what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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