Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
