where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
