Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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