Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
