i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
