Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
