it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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