I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
