went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
