god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
