You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
