Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
