she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
