Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
