I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
