Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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