The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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