Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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