Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
