Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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