If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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