True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
