Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
