i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
