You're so nebulous sometimes
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
