Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
