Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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