that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
