Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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