yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We left the knife in your bed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
