A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
