Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
