I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
