I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
