Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
